artittle (artittle) wrote in writers_guild,


I've been working on a book called Nameless. It's about a girl named Rain who tragically looses her mother when she turns 17. She tries to cope but because she is unable to she turns to all the wrong things to help her. After some property damage she meets a woman named Miss Maddie who immediately is consumed with compassion for the young woman. She begins meeting with her and trying to teach her how to cope in a world that is hardly favorable.
This is just a piece I took from the editing and I wanted to know if it flows well. If anyone has any advice for me.. I've been writing a long time but this is my first book I've worked on. I would love some intake! Thanks. -Ashley

"Rain knew every moment that she sat by Miss Maddie's bed might be the last time she sat with her. All of the wisdom she clung to from that weary woman seemed to be in the past, pulling farther from her.

"How could you do this to me?" Rain whispered as she clung to the soft, lifeless hand.

"How could you not tell me?" Tears started to stream down her face. She wiped them away pulling her hand back. The hope that Miss Maddie would awake and turn to her sharing some inspirational lesson held on to Rain. She lost hope once but she swore to never let hopelessness drag her back into her dark hole. The very place Miss Maddie spent all those months helping her dig herself out of."
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded